Monday, February 5, 2018

Bulling is a community problem

Dare To Be You!

I believed I was bullied at school because I was different. Now I am older and wiser I am not so sure.  May be it was just teasing and I let 'bullies' see my vulnerability.  However back then bullies didn't tell us to go kill ourselves. I think as adults struggling to support young people its hard to comprehend the escalation in the behaviour we labelled as bulling.

Bullying can occur anywhere. At school, at home, at work or even a nurse home, but now it is most prevent online as and on our screen devices. I think bullying occurs when another person cause physical or emotional pain to another person over an extended period of time.  So when you meet someone you not going to identify them as a 'bully'.

Bulling is not about you!

'A bully' might start out as your best friend, your partner, a relative or your boss. Bulling is not about you! It is about the other person either wanting to control you in some way; or about robbing you of your emotional well being to make themselves feel better. Because this happens over time bullies can go detected. 

Anyone can become a victim of bulling.

Anyone can become a victim of bulling. Charlotte Dawson was a television presenter and a host of Australia's next top model, one of the most beautiful spirits I have admired.  She lived her life in the public eye. We did not know the extent of the bulling she endured until it is to late.  

Bullies slowly build your trust and then assert control over you until you see yourself as rubbish and eventually you can believe you life is not worth living.  Their true identity is never known.

Bullies are relentless  

When I was at school I left the bullies at the school gate. I had respite while I was not at school. We now live in a 24/7 world, our screens are always with us and thus our bullies are carried in our school bags, handbags and pockets. Our addition to screens makes us react to their messages.

Our Defence

  1. When it comes to the truth about yourself, trust the friends and family you see everyday.
  2. If someone makes you unhappy or feel bad about yourself do engage with them by text or social media.
  3. You can block them on you phone, email, messages and social media.  Reading their messages out of curiosity only harms you.
  4. Do not engage with them. Defending yourself lets them know they have upset you and could give them information for them to use against them. 
  5. Tell someone you know well so they can assist you to defuses the person lies.
  6. Report them to social media sites.
However we all know bullies are hard to detect. We all crave attention sometimes even bad or hurtful attention fills this need. Any negative around you will drain you and lower you defence so seek out people you make you feel good.

Look out for your mates

Stand by yours friends if the start to withdraw of talk negatively, pull them up and ask them what's going on? However if they are depressed the may not talk.  Some people a great at covering up. You may need to look for other clues. 

  • Changes in behaviour
  • Changes in appearance
  • Changes in sleep patterns
  • Changes in eating patterns
  • Changes in what them ware. 
People will tell you that people who talk about killing themselve won't act on it.  That is not true.  Today would of been my friends 59th Birthday.  She was a troubled soul and battled depression all her life.  She often talked about killing herself and in the end she did. 

Bulling is a community problem

Bullies like to isolate people, when people feel isolated the have no one to talk to or feel others will not believe them.  Bullies engage the victims one-on-one, not in social forums. Our best defence is to build a support community for ourselves so our defence to identifying, bullies is strengthen.

Life is tough enough do not need to talk to people who make you feel bad.

Sometimes facebook gets me so mad, I do not use it for a week or two.  If I need it for work, I don't access my personal account.  This are only harmful if I read them.  If I don't read the lies then they can't hurt you.


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